Video Preview.
It's a constant frustration cycle of perfecting and correcting.
This week, I have something simple for you: a preview of my next project. Here is the trailer.
This one has taken a lot out of me. Every other project I have done so far has been easygoing. I sat down, trimmed the VODs, and then recorded some voiceover until it worked! From there, I built the video in a linear fashion. This project is a different story. It has really taken a toll on me. I have restarted it twice. The initial project was thrown out because I was not sold on the vibe. The second attempt was just getting going. When I sent it to my feedback group, their response was mixed. The problem was clear when it was spelled out to me. I was making a video about the history of Dwarf Fortress music. The goal with that initial pitch was to use the song "Koganusan" as a pitch for the kind of creativity Dwarf Fortress inspires. Yet, the hard cut into my challenge playthrough made the video feel lopsided and off-kilter. That was the second time I had to restart this project.
At this point, I am 16 hours into editing. I'm roughly through 30 hours of footage, with an additional 30 hours left to finish cutting. It sounds like a lot, and honestly, it can be. There are times when editing takes the wind out of me. The content I like making is live and off the cuff. The editing cycle can drive me insane. It's a constant frustration cycle of perfecting and correcting. Yes, this cycle can be rewarding. Yet, at the same time, it can be exhausting and soul-crushing to the point where you have to throw out a project.
Everything I do is public. I don't get the privilege of canceling a project that I've said I'm going to complete. I do get to decide my timeline for something, but once I've stated I'm going to finish it, I'll do it. No matter how long I have to work on it. This is a virtue but also a curse. The positive side is it makes me good at working my way through problems in projects. It allows me time to figure out how to build something that is enjoyable for people who are not me. The negative is that I will crush myself into an overworked haze until I wake up a week later and realize people liked the outcome. After that, I dread having to do it again because I know that will be the end result.
Then comes the feedback loop of comments. Positive and negative, this is what makes the process of creative self-destruction worth it. Everything from how someone watched a video twice while they had a bad cold and needed to kill an afternoon to the extreme of someone watching my stuff for weeks on end to get through a spell of depression. There are always the hecklers who say I should go outside or move out of my parents' basement. At this point, they are few and far between and mostly hysterical. At worst, they are few in number and easy to ignore.
The weird way to finalize this topic is that I love what I do. When I'm at this point in any project, whether it’s a big video or a series of small projects, I always feel the same. I have no ability to think about or do anything else. All I do is work until the finished product is in a satisfactory state. I just wish that behind the scenes, I had more real-life connections to confide in so I don't have to write posts like this. There are my parents, and bless them, but it is hard to explain the struggles of my job to them without causing distress. The pressure I put myself under is not inherently negative. It just seems that way when looking in from the outside.
The reality of being creative is not always a pleasant process. It can often be inspiring and bring joy. Sometimes it brings soul-crushing failure, whether that be a project being received poorly or something not getting the attention that you put into it. Hell, many artists and creatives don't get any recognition until they are long gone. All I have to compete against is myself and the nonsense of big tech changing when you don't expect it. Thank you for sticking with me while uploads are slow. This style of content is something that'll take a while for me to get used to. I like the outcome, but the process has a lot of growing pains right now.
Stats! Twitch got an average of 194 viewers. I got some raids that pushed the numbers up. YouTube got 76,577 views in the last 7 days. Average to say the least. I got 366 subscribers in the 7 day window. That is more then I would get in a month earlier this year. If you want some really detailed stats I published my monthly stats blog for all newsletter members this week.
Blind
Schedule is a bit out of whack right now. Because of the weird state that my current project is in. I'll get normal uploads out once this project is out from under my skin.